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PART 2 - Page 1 of 34
A Tragic, Heartbreaking And Unnecessary Suicide
"Prayers for Bobby" - The Book And The Lifetime Movie
THE BOOK AND MOVIE THAT THE RELIGIOUS GAY-BASHERS HAVE NO ANSWER FOR - They can't explain why homosexual, bisexual and transgender teenagers and young adults are consistently from 2 to 14 times more likely to attempt suicide when compared to their heterosexual peers. And they definitely can't accept their primary role in causing these horrific statistics. (1)
In an award winning book “Prayers for Bobby: A Mother's Coming to Terms with the Suicide of Her Gay Son”- Leroy Aarons (See boxes below and the Bibliography on page 31 or click here), tells the true story and ultimate human tragedy of how a mother, Mary Griffith, came to terms with the suicide of her 20 year-old gay son, Bobby (June 24, 1963 - August 27, 1983).
"Before you echo Amen in your home or place of worship, think and remember.
A child is listening."
Bobby Griffith grew up as the innocent, happy and intelligent all-American boy with an obedient and gentle spirit. But as he grew into adolescence he discovered that he was attracted to other teenage boys his age or older and not girls. And because Bobby was raised as a devout Christian and was taught that being gay was one of the worst sins imaginable, he believed that he was defective, that he was going to burn in Hell for eternity and that he was unworthy of God’s love. He was very aware of his church’s teachings because he was very active in the Walnut Creek Presbyterian Church in Walnut Creek, California along with his brother, 2 sisters and mother, Mary, who taught Sunday school. Unable to handle the irresolvable daily struggles and conflict with both his family and his religion, Bobby jumped off a bridge onto a busy highway in front of a large tractor trailer in Portland, Oregon on August 27, 1983 and was killed instantly due to massive internal injuries. His detailed personal diaries are filled with diatribes of self-hate because he believed that as a homosexual he was a worthless human being and innately evil because he was a tool of the Devil. He believed these things because that was what his church taught. He thought that he had no reason to live because he wasn’t allowed to love who he was attracted to and was damned no matter what he did. For example, in the spring of 1979, near his 16th birthday, Bobby wrote the following in his diary:
I can't ever let anyone find out
that I'm not straight. It would be so humiliating. My friends would hate me.
They might even want to beat me up. And my family? I've overheard them. They've
said they hate gays, and even God hates gays, too. Gays are bad, and God sends
bad boys to hell. It really scares me when they are talking about me."
The grieving Mary Griffith was convinced that she was very much to blame for her son’s incomprehensible death. Because of her constant and incessant preaching to him of the evilness of homosexuality, by continually quoting a stream of bible verses at him in a campaign to convince him to “change” from being gay to straight, which she later learned was not possible, and by being openly ashamed of him, she believed that in her ignorance she had unknowingly helped push him over the edge. She came to believe that she had sacrificed her child in the name of rigid, uncaring religious tradition when all she should have done was tell him that he was perfectly all right just as he was. After his death her beloved church turned its back on the surviving family and was unable to help them explain what went wrong or offer much comfort. She then reexamined her theology and beliefs about homosexuality and was herself radically transformed when she educated herself about the truth of what it means to be gay or lesbian.
Bobby's Revealing Diaries Have Given Him a Voice in Death He Never Had in
Mary Griffith's reexamination of her theology consisted of two very important things that she did after she read her son’s revealing diaries. The first was to find out from the minister of the local Concord Metropolitan Community Church, Larry Whitsell, that there was an alternative and much more compassionate, logical and accurate view of the teachings in the Bible which accepted her gay son just the way he was, that he was neither defective nor dammed and that God never would have wanted him to try to change himself into a heterosexual. The second thing was to get to know the members of the local P-FLAG organization [*] and to sit in on their meetings and listen to the heart wrenching stories of these families who have a loved one who is gay or lesbian. Since then she has been a national crusader for gay and lesbian youth, doing her best to right the terrible wrongs that society and the organized church have inflicted on this stigmatized and denigrated minority.
Click Here for What Parents of Gay and Lesbian Teens need to Know about Suicide - What Are The Warning Signs?
[*] In the United States, PFLAG is a national organization and support group of Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays and in Spain, AMPGIL - Asociación de Madres y Padres de Gays y Lesbianas.
"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." - Dr. Seuss
Proof that Homosexuality is Not a Choice - Try the Test On Yourself!!
So Click Here to see what the test involves and also see the scientific and medical evidence that confirms that homosexuality is not a choice. Homosexuality: Nature or Nurture? (Part 1 of 5). Also On The Same Page "Realizing That You're Different From Others, What a Gay or Lesbian Teen Goes Through"
Click Here To Read More True, Tragic and Unnecessary Gay Youth Suicide Stories - What Can You Do To Help?
in the church where the prejudice against gays was born
How incredibly sad and tragic the above true account is because it never should have happened. And the same could be said for the hundreds of thousands and probably more of other gays and lesbians over the centuries who have also taken their own lives because of feelings of self-hate, shame, depression and hopelessness caused by the toxic attitudes of the organized church and society in general. And as you will see in this website, it was in the church where the prejudice against gays was born, nurtured and promoted for all these centuries. And it doesn’t have to be this way. After many months of writing and 4 years of praying about and researching this controversial issue, this extremely personal report and opinion is what my life comes down to, the most important legacy that I will leave to my family, friends and anyone with a loving heart and an open mind searching for answers about homosexuality.
Click Here for Gary
Recommended Sites for Dealing with Homophobia and Discrimination Against Gays in Our Society
Click Here for Gary Lynn's Favorite Sites for Really Good Gay Teen Fictional Stories, Forums, Blogs, Chat Rooms & Message Boards
. . . . . . . . . . . . .
(1) Click Here and Here to see the detailed results of over 100 studies showing that homosexual, bisexual and transgender youth and young adults consistently are about from 2 to 14 times more likely to attempt suicide when compared to their heterosexual peers. And here is an example of just one of these studies: Results of the 2007 Youth Risk Behavior Survey of Massachusetts High School Students (Click Here to see it) showed that students who described themselves as gay, lesbian, or bisexual were significantly more likely than their heterosexual peers to report attacks, suicide attempts and drug and alcohol use. When compared to heterosexual peers, this group was:
● Over four times more likely to have attempted suicide in the past year
● Over three times more likely to miss school in the past month because of feeling unsafe
● Over four times more likely to have been injured or threatened with a weapon at school
(2) Aarons, Leroy, “Prayers for Bobby: A Mother's Coming to Terms with the Suicide of Her Gay Son”, San Francisco, HarperSanFrancisco, 1996, page 57
If you would like to communicate with me, my e-mail address is: firstname.lastname@example.org
A Gay Teen Short Story ♂♂
Church is so confusing for Zack. His new pastor preaches nothing but hate and condemnation of gays and lesbians, but no matter how carefully he reads his Bible, he can’t find where it says God hates him. Will things change when Zach's boyfriend Billy suggests that they all go to his church instead? Click Here or on the icon to read the story.
Click for Page 2 - Two Very Important Questions
True Love Can Never be Wrong
and Is Everybody a Bisexual?,
Bisexuality: The Kinsey Scale and The Klein Sexuality Grid
below to go to:
The Anti-Gay Religious Right's Really Cruel and Idiotic Argument
Their Message to a Gay Person is: Be alone. Live alone. Die alone.
Click for Homosexuality is neither a Choice nor a Sin - table of contents
Click for A Bisexual's Beliefs About God and Religion at The Present Time - Gary Lynn
Click for Gary Lynn's Home Page