What's The Basis For These Beliefs?
Because It is Idolatry to Put More Importance
on the Imperfect Bible Over that of the Perfect Holy Spirit (God)*
Hi, everyone. Welcome to Gary Lynn's Home Page. That's
me, Gary Lynn, in the picture below when I was a fresh-faced and pretty much
naive 17 year old High School Senior at
Excelsior High School, class of 1958, in
the Los Angeles suburb of Norwalk, California, USA. The trouble
was that at the time this picture was taken I had finally figured out that I
was bisexual and just the thought of being classified by people in my world as
"human garbage" or one of those
"half homo rejects"
really depressed me. And being really shy, fairly skinny and a late bloomer
didn't help. Somehow I got through those years and now, I'm 69 years old and have finally accepted it and moved on.
Why did it take me so long? My brief life story below will
explain it all.
What is the meaning of our lives?
o
In other words, what
is the point of you and I being here in this world at this time
during our assigned life spans?
o
This is a question that most of
us ask ourselves occasionally or at least once at some point in our lives.
And I'm finding that at my
age I think about it a lot. As a follower of Christ with a strong and
active line of communication with God ("prayer life" in Church speak), I believe that He wants me
to make a positive difference in
this world while I'm here,
to unselfishly leave this world a little
better place because I was here. I have already had the fortunate
opportunity to do many useful things for others that have given my life much
meaning, but God's not through with me yet. I believe that He has led me to the conclusion
that my life, with all its accumulated
experiences of good times and bad, things done right and things done wrong, has
taught me many things and that these lessons don't have to just stay with me.
Maybe one more small accomplishment I
can make in my life is to pass on to you the reader, the truthfulness of the above headlines,
the most important of all of the lessons of my life.
If I open the eyes and change the mind of just one person on this controversial
topic, that would be good enough for me.
*lyrics to "Beautiful",
CD "Stripped", sung by Christina Aguilera, written and composed by Linda Perry
MY STORY-
(and indeed we all have a story):
Self-Hate, Shame and Guilt
At 69 years of age now, many of the specific details of my
difficult youth lived as a bisexual have been lost to the effects of a declining
memory that was never very good to start out with. But the memories of my
feelings of self-hate, shame and guilt beginning in my middle to late teenage
years will always be with me. Why was I drawn into looking at the other boys
changing clothes in the locker room before and after gym class starting in Junior
High? Why couldn’t I be like other boys who exclusively liked girls? I liked
girls alright, but it was my attraction to boys that caused me so much distress.
I desperately didn't want to be this way, an embarrassment, a bisexual.
But I
just was what I was and I couldn't change who I was attracted to no matter how
hard I tried. I just was. . . .
These painful feelings haunted me because of my upbringing in various
Independent Christian Churches (Church of Christ) located around Los Angeles,
California (these included the
First Christian Church in Inglewood, California and the
Knott Avenue Christian Church in
Anaheim, California) who proclaimed then and still do that “God’s word says that
Homosexuality is against His Plan.” As a result of my church's teaching I
believed that I was defective, that I was in danger of spending eternity in Hell
and that I was not good enough for God to love me. Going to church for me was
not much fun. But it was all I knew to do so I soldiered on. As a
personal comment
here: As you will see in this web site I have recently found out that
the Bible does not say that
homosexuality is against His Plan. In fact
all of His committed followers are in His Plan. God does not play
favorites as between His Heterosexual and Homosexual Children. Acts 10:34-35 (New Living
Translation) Then Peter replied, “I see very clearly that God doesn’t show
partiality. In every nation he accepts those who fear him and do what is right.”
and Galatians 3:28 (New Living Translation) "There is no longer Jew or
Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus."
But mostly I felt really alone in dealing with all
this. Until I was 12 years old as an only child I was raised by my maternal
grandparents (Grandmother Doman was an avid churchgoer) because my parents were
in the Army during World War II and then divorced soon afterward. Then I went to
live with my mother and step-father after a brutal court battle over my custody.
My parents hated each other and made sure that I knew all of their ex’s “evil
ways”. My mother and step-father to say the least had little or no child-rearing
abilities. My step-father was a very intelligent man but rather cold and unable
to express whatever love he might have had for me. And my mother was always
critical of me and could never give me instructions without screaming. Although
this doesn't come under the heading of an instruction, I’ll never forget while
standing by her bed only in her lingerie one time when I was 13 or 14 years old
standing across from her, she pointed at her abdomen and blamed me at the top of
her voice for causing the “unsightly” stretch marks as a result of my birth. Before they passed away though I
was able to assure myself that they both loved me, but it was a sentimental and
superficial kind
of love that didn’t help me very much as a teenager or young man.
After I turned 11, my father's side of the
family pretty much helped make up in the three months of the summer when I
stayed with them for what was lacking in the other nine months that I was with
my mother and step-father in
North Hollywood and later
La Mirada, California. My
father and step-mother on their farm in California's San Joaquin Valley
(Strathmore, Calif. &
Porterville, Calif.) and my paternal grandparents, uncles,
aunts and cousins in Redlands, Calif.
were generally warm and loving people as contrasted with the distant and cold
fish that made up my mother's side of the family whose motto seemed to be, "serious
people don't do hugs." But whether I got hugs or didn't get hugs, I found out by their comments towards the end of their
lives that all 4 of my parents would have completely rejected and disowned me as
a bisexual teenager or man if I had been completely honest about my orientation
with any of them. In the end their love for me wasn't as important as their
reputations or "What would their neighbors, friends and the family think if they
found out?" As a teen, I'm sure that they would have sent me to a "Christian" therapist to
get my head straightened out as Mother had an inflated view of what psychologists
and psychiatrists could do back then. And remember that back in the 50's and
60's nobody knew anything about homosexuality except that it was thought to be a
mental illness, and/or a choice and a disgusting depravity. The first important books
and studies
by respected theologians, psychologists, psychiatrists, social scientists,
anthropologists and other academics that
began to seriously question all those hurtful and unfounded beliefs regarding
homosexuality weren't written
until the 1980's and 1990's. And if I had been honest that I was still a
bisexual after all the treatments (since one's sexuality can not be changed as
the overwhelming majority of the mental health community now knows), all 4 of my parents
wouldn't have
wanted anything to do with me. Yes, I would have lost my family and been out in
the street because that was just the way my folks were, well-meaning but too
sure of themselves people limited by the knowledge of their times. And without a home base and a
family I couldn't have gotten any of the education and jobs I was later able to
get. My life in effect would have virtually ceased to exist.
Now back to my life as it was back then . . . . and though I did have a few honest-to-goodness
girlfriends as a teenager and a young man, as a bisexual I wound up never being
able to commit myself to a partner, either male or female, even briefly. And to
show you how desperate I was to fit in to "normal" society, at about 26 years of age I
spent 500 dollars (worth about a 1,000 dollars or more now) on a computer dating
club trying to solve my "problem" by trying to find just the right woman,
because I figured finding the right woman was the key to solving everything,
right? Wrong. Because week after week, dating different hopeful
women for over 10 months led me nowhere except more frustration.
Was I sexually attracted to many of them? Sure. But the idea of
actually living with any one of them had no appeal for me at all. And
though I was attracted to several men I met over the years, the idea of setting
up house with any of them was just as unappealing. Plus because of the social
stigma attached to the idea of 2 men living together as a homosexual couple in
the 1960s, I never seriously considered that as an option. So the conflicting feelings continued just as they had been
way back in junior high. But though my 4 parents were always suspicious of
me, they would never know for sure
during their lifetimes about my orientation. I have made a concerted effort over the last few years to
forgive them in my prayers in order to truly put that part of my life behind me.
Redemption
I got a bachelors degree majoring in Accounting from San
Diego State University after an obligatory 22 month stay in the Army and even
worked hard and passed the required exam and became a CPA. But I turned out to
be a lousy accountant and looked around to find out what God really had in mind
for my life. I became a lay youth leader in 2 Los Angeles area Christian
churches (Westwood
Hills Christian Church, Dr. Myron Taylor-pastor;
Little Brown Church,
Rev. John Wells & Rev. Dr. Laurence Keene-pastors) after figuring out I had an ability for interacting with teens and by
working in temporary accounting jobs I was able to support myself and to pay for
most of the expenses incurred with the groups for over 7 years. We made some
really good memories together as a group: Sunday school classes, Summer and
Winter camps in the mountains, weekend get-togethers in the snow at Big Bear
Lake, hiking adventures in the Sierras, playing tennis, work trips to an
orphanage in Tijuana, Mexico, etc. The parents of these teenagers trusted me
with the physical, spiritual and emotional well being of their precious children
and I did everything I possible could to honor that trust. The Zweigler family in
particular took me into their home, hearts and lives with some extra special
hospitality that I will never forget.
Click on the Above Image for More Pictures of The Group
Because I was constantly connected to God asking him to use my attractions to
males for Him rather than letting me use my boys for my selfish sexual pleasure,
I never had a problem with this kind of temptation. Was it always easy?
No, but nothing of value in our lives ever is. God was always there for me
when I needed help to keep me focused on the task he had assigned me. I
asked Him to give me the power to live the life he wanted me to have, then He
gave me the ability and opportunity to do it. The kids in the group were truly a
great bunch and they are still in my
thoughts and prayers to this
day.
Then in 1977, after 2 summers of leading college
age groups to work at Niños de México,
an orphanage outside of Mexico City I was invited to come back and work full
time (ironically because I was a CPA). So I accepted the offer and now have
lived in Mexico for over 33 years and have carved out a life for myself. I
worked for only 5 years at the Home but ended up staying in Mexico as an English
teacher working for both a private
language institute located in downtown Mexico City and also for the
Universidad Autónoma Chapingo, the
main Federal agricultural university in Mexico located in the suburbs of Mexico
City, near Texcoco, State of Mexico. It turned out that God gave me the talent
for teaching as I loved working with and getting to know so many very special
Mexican young people who I found to be very friendly and very intelligent over a
24 year career. I wound up adopting 5 of the older teenage boys as they were
ready to leave the Home. We like to say that we adopted each other as they
didn’t have a father or a good place to go and I didn’t have any children. I now
have 5 mostly happily married sons (Francisco, Armando, Serafín, Rene, and Adán)
with 13 wonderful grandchildren (see below for their names and the names of my
marvelous daughter-in-laws) plus several very
special nephews who came from the Home as well. I am now retired and enjoying
life to the fullest.
I have been able to find all the love I need from God by way of my blood and adopted
family and good friends. It all goes to show that God has a plan for all His
children, including all the beautiful varieties of homosexuals and bisexuals, not just heterosexuals.
But it wasn’t until I was 65 years old that I found out by reading the books that are
listed in the Bibliography on page 31 that
the
homophobic message preached by my church just wasn’t true
as you will see for yourself if you work your way through this website. At first
it made me really angry what these pastors, Sunday school teachers and other
church leaders had put me through by passing on such a hateful message about
people like me who were in a minority and just different. But then I calmed down
and realized that most of them were good people who were only passing on ancient
church and societal traditions based on Biblical myths and misinterpretations
that most everybody else believed too. And I believe that many or most of them
had little idea of the harm and pain they were causing.
But one thing, as a bisexual I always thought that I could fake my way through
life pretending to be a pure blooded straight man and for the most part I have
been able to accomplish this, though some people were suspicious because I never
married. Though I know that thoughts of suicide crossed my mind several times as
a teenager and in my early 20's when I was feeling really depressed about my
bisexuality, my memory is somewhat hazy as to whether I actually ever tried to
carry through with these thoughts. Oh, and no,
my bisexuality was never my choice.
Nobody, least of all me, wakes up one morning and thinks, "I have a great idea,
I think I'd like to become a member of a detested minority." Hello!
Proof that Homosexuality is Not a
Choice - Try the Test On Yourself!!
So Click
Here
to see what the test involves and also see the scientific and medical evidence that
confirms that homosexuality is not a choice.
Homosexuality: Nature or Nurture? (Part 1 of 5)
A Blessing in Disguise
Though I never felt this way until recently, my bisexuality was really a
blessing in disguise given to me by God. My life has actually been very
good. Jesus never promised us that life would be easy, only that it would
be worth it.
Hope for Gay Teens and Young Adults - Never Give Up On Life
So this is the reason for this website - to provide the most reliable information
possible to homosexual or bisexual teenagers
and young adults who are trapped into anti-gay
or homophobic religious situations and
give them what I didn’t have, hope. Basically I just want to let
you all know that life can be very good despite all the bullies and religious bigots,
so don't give up on it in a fit of depression.
You are not alone.
 |
White Ribbon Campaign
Raising Awareness about Gay Teen Suicide and Remembering those who we've lost Up to 30 percent of teen suicides are by GLBT youths, and GLBT teens are 2 to 14 times more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual peers due to a myriad of increased social challenges and risk factors, including being subjected to anti-gay taunting and bullying at school, at home and in public. Click Here to see the results of over 100 studies. GLBT = Gay Lesbian Bisexual Transgender
If you think you
might be GLBT and are thinking:
|
If the information I have
provided here can improve the life and outlook for just one teenager or young
adult, maybe even stop one person from even thinking about committing suicide, that would be good enough
for me and make me feel that my life experience dealing with this struggle meant something to someone and
it wasn't all in vain.
THE SERMON
The best sermon you
or I will ever
hear or read on the question: "Is
homosexuality a sin?"
It summarizes everything that this website is about. Click on the title above to
read.
THE DOCUMENTARY on
DVD
"For the Bible
Tells Me So" is a 90 minute film which brilliantly reconciles
homosexuality and Biblical scripture, and in the process reveals that Church-sanctioned anti-gay bias is based almost
solely upon substantial and often hateful misinterpretations of the Bible. This is the discovery we the viewer make
as we follow the lives and struggles of five families with gay children. Click on the title to read more about this award-winning video which has as one of its featured commentators my former pastor, Rev. Dr.
Laurence (Larry) Keene
(Christian Church - Disciples of Christ).
Click
Here for Part
1, Two Christmas Stories - "Halim's Lament" by
Paul Schroder & "A Gay Christmas Carol" by Bill W
Click
Here
for Part 2, "Homosexuality
is Neither a Choice Nor a Sin - Table of Contents"
Click
Here
for Part 3,
The Story That Grabbed My Heart -
"Beyond The Rain" by Grasshopper
A Gay
High School Love Story - Overcoming The Barriers ♂♂
Click Here
for Part 4,
To Read True, Tragic and
Unnecessary Gay Youth Suicide Stories - What Can You Do To Help?
Click Here for Gary
Lynn's
Recommended Sites for Dealing with Homophobia and Discrimination Against Gays in Our Society
Click Here for Gary Lynn's Recommended Sites for Really Good Gay
Teen Fictional Stories, Forums, Chat Rooms & Message Boards
If you would
like to communicate with me, my e-mail address is:
guery1940-arrowhead@yahoo.com
2
RECOMMENDED READING:
Confused as to the difference between a Homosexual
and a Child Molester, then read this powerful and moving autobiography:
The
Tricky Part-A boy's story of sexual trespass,
a man's journey to forgiveness
by Martin Moran, Beacon Press, Boston, 2005
Book
Description
Raised in a loving Catholic family in Denver, Martin Moran was a star
student who imagined that he’d one day become a U.S. senator. When he was
twelve years old, a camp counselor seduced him, initiating an abusive sexual
relationship that would last three years–and haunt Moran’s life for decades.
He discovered a passion for acting and built a career that would take him to
Broadway, but only when Moran finally tracked down and confronted his abuser
thirty years later could he finally forgive himself for someone else's
trespass. Two Important Points: Though Martin turned out to be gay himself and has been in a
stable relationship with a partner for over 18 years, he learned through all
this difficult experience that his gayness was not caused by the sexual
violence he went through as a boy. Secondly, his molester was a
heterosexual.
Beautifully written, even funny and tender about growing up Catholic, The Tricky Part
never oversimplifies either the abuse or the very difficult and complicated work of recovering from
it. This powerful story carries us to the heart of a paradox: that what we
think of as damage may be the very thing that gives rise to transformation,
even grace. This book was given a 5 star rating (the highest) by 28 reviewers at Amazon.com.
Frequently Asked Question:
Is there some special meaning to your
domain name? Yes, my domain name "lakeweedatarrowhead" comes from the
life changing experience I had at Lake Arrowhead which is a popular lake and
recreational area in the mountains above Los Angeles, California. It was
there when I was a 30 something church high school youth group leader in the
early 1970's that I almost lost my life by drowning. I had stupidly
decided to swim across the lake with my male teenage charges who were in much
better shape than I was, when I became completely exhausted and then when swimming
towards the closest shore I got totally entangled with the shoreline lake weed and knew
this was probably the end for me. I yelled "help" and was miraculously
saved by a strong swimmer who just "happened" to be sunbathing on the shore.
After that experience I knew that God had something special planned for my life
because by all rights I should have paid the ultimate price because of a bad
decision. Of course, after that my nickname in the group was "Lake Weed".
Added Feature:
Click here for "Two
Prayers to Start Out the Day With"
. . . . . . . . . . . .
My 13 Grandchildren (from the oldest to
the youngest) are
Priscila, Armando Jr., Guillermo, Jose Cruz, Brian Lynn, Berenice, Esli,
Eduardo, Carolina, Ana Carmen, Alex, Mattew and Isaac Rene. Francisco is
married to María Isabel, Armando to Dora,
Serafín to Zoila, Rene to Manuela and Adán
to Julieta.
